I’ve been hurting today. The fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks has brought the memories and a sadness over me once again. When I think back to my feelings five years ago, I was much more scared and angry, but now I’m sad. Sad at the extreme cost our country and world has endured. Sad at the divisions that have rent our national psyche in these past five years. My “United We Stand” t-shirt looks like a pitiful anachronism.

I remember Sept. 11, 2001 very well. I was up very early that day to fill in as the news anchor for the morning show on WCTL radio. I had wrapped up my last news break at 8:35 and uploading our news stories to the website when my wife called crying. She said to turn on the TV; there had been an accident at the World Trade Center. I turned on the TV and made an announcement on the air about the incident. I got back to the newsroom in time to see the second plane hit. I immediately went into crisis mode. For the next 10 hours we supplied news and local reaction to the events.

To someone like me, who sees life in a history-prophesy continuum, I thought that the attacks could be the beginning of the end in the biblical sense. It may still turn out to be the case, but more likely, the attacks on Sept. 11th mark the end of invincibility as Americans. Not since the atomic bomb drills we used to have in Kindergarten have I felt so scared and vulnerable. But today, I’m just sad.

To all of those who lost loved ones in the attacks, I am praying for you.